When was the last time you spoke to your 6 year old asking them to brush their teeth before bed, go back to bed, hurry up and get ready for school, without success? Think about a time you spoke with your spouse/partner/friend/family and you wanted them to agree with you on a topic, without success? Think about the last time you attended a mediation, when you spoke (or observed others speak) at the opening, when the other side was informed of the strength of your case, their case was diminished [and they need a better handle on the law]. You may have been surprised they didn’t ‘come to their senses’. :-)
Getting others to agree with you , having satisfying relationships, asking others to comply when we ask for help or when trying to alter others behaviour or thinking, sell our services or ideas or be an effective leader…. ALL require high levels of influence.
Many people think influence involves force . It is, however, a skill, it takes time, effort and intention to apply effective ‘influence’, We just have to start!
All of us can be a good or a bad influence on others. Our influencing skills will help us or move us farther away from our goals.
How do you feel when you are with a person who diminishes, is directive and authoritative, tells forcefully or angrily accuses rather than seeking to find out further information, constantly complaining, throwing people under the bus and sabotaging others? I am not influenced in a good way, I don’t have a burning desire to give more, do you?
Influence has many facets. Do you have a development plan to stretch and grow yourself, improve your skills and life? Or do you continue to ‘influence’ the same way you always have, with the same results? What skills do you need to develop to be more influential? How will you learn to grow it? Is their time planned in your calendar to improve skills?
Compare your influential practices with others practices (don’t compare personalities, strenghts or weaknesses):
- The most influential recognise emotions are engaged, voice tonality, body language, gestures, energy is important
- The most influential interact positively and expect positive outcomes
- The most influential don’t tell, criticise or diminish others, they have a curious, growth mindset and communication style.
- What do you think would happen if we set a high standard for ourselves (not perfection)……. as a role model where we responded positively, with respect, regardless of what was thrown our way?
Conflict resolution is an opportunity to grow your influence, which will benefit every aspect of your life.
Louise is focused on her passion, helping and serving others at family law mediations (advanced trained mediator/FDRP), using legal and high performance and eq skills to help all in attendance be successful and perform at their best
Louise loves watching professionals on a journey where they reach their full potential in life (incl. career). She coaches individual, 1:1 where they get quicker results (and group or business consulting). She sees clients breakthrough obstacles to increase their success and contentment, while increasing their levels of courage, influence, productivity, clarity and energy. What joy it brings for all!
Contact Louise to discuss mediation availability and costs or high performance [individual or group] coaching or business consulting.
Reminder: I am in the process of launching a new website aligned to my new direction of mediation and high performance coach/consultant. If you would like to continue to receive my blogs/vlogs, you don’t need to do anything. If you don’t wish to receive my blogs/vlogs going forward, please unsubscribe and you will be removed from the list, when it is transferred to the new website. Thanks again for your support to date as I know you receive a lot of emails and appreciate you wanting to continue to learn and challenge yourself by learning new practices to reach your full potential!